Alle: Remember the stars
you loved yesterday.
Where did they go?
Did they all pass away?
Was it drugs or a car crash
Or face lift gone wrong?
No, they're right here in Branson
and singing this song!

Charo: My name is Charo
I shake my maracas.
Mr. T: Remember me, fool?
I was B. A. Baracus.

Alle: We're the performers you thought were dead
Like Bonnie Franklin and Adrian Zmed.
Branson's the place we can always be found
They took Nick at Nite, and made it a town!

Ray Jay Johnson: You can call me "Ray"
Or you can call me "Jay".
Just don't call me "washed up"
I do three shows a day!

Charlie Callas: Charlie Callas doesn't sleep in the ground
Yes, I'm still alive and I'm making my sounds!

Alle: So sit back, relax and watch our review
Yakov Smirnoff: In Soviet Union, review watches you!